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Religion follows me like a faithful shadow everywhere I dwell. Yet, today I am faithless, while different religions compete to transform me.
I grew up in a strange land where religions interbred and formed conglomerations of thoughts, ideas and philosophies. Yes, in India there are religions and then there are “sub-religions” . The different religions of India are Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Jainism , Sikhism and Buddhism. I grew up in a Hindu society as Hinduism is the most prominent religion. Within that I prayed to Godess 'Durga' and her four children 'Ganesh, Saraswati, Kartik and Laxmi.' I remember my grandmother spending hours praying to different idols. She made me pray to Saraswati (the Goddess of intellect) sometimes, so that my grades would improve.
When my family moved to Iran , I experienced Islamic culture and traditions. Every day I would see my mom cover herself with 'Barkha' (a black long cloak) because in Muslim countries women are expected to be conservative. Then I learnt about Allah and how Muslims pray five times a day. I was shocked the most when I found out about Ramazan (a season where Muslims can only eat between dusk and dawn).
Allah or Jesus, Krishna or Buddha mean the same thing to me, nothing. Don't we all explain the unplained by calling it 'God?' What we don't know, the supernatural and the metaphysical, we strive to express through religion, through faith.
My parents would tell me that, “Religion doesn't mean anything, humanism is more important.” They shared the importance of being a good person, with a kind heart. I truly value their opinion and that is exactly how I look at the world today.
When I came to TCIS, I was fully exposed to Christianity for the first time. It was very interesting to meet people who shared a different perspective, it still is. If I could accept Jesus, I think that my life would be much easier, but I don't believe in the miracles he did. Truth is something that you need to believe, and that is why it is 'truth' to you. Actually, Muslims argue that Muhammad was the true Messiah of Allah (their God). History and is twisted, and everything history reveals may or may not be true.
After coming to TCIS, I have realized that most Christians are good people though. They really love God and serve him unconditionally, and I respect them for their beliefs. I hope I am treated the same way, because sometimes it is challenging to live in a community where everyone else has strong faith. I think that one of Bright Eyes' songs, reveal my view towards religion. The lyrics read:
“The Bible's blind, the Torah's deaf, the Koran's mute,
If you burn them all together you'd be closer to the truth”
When people of every religion think that they are the truth, what is the point of having faith? What if today, I decide to accept God into my life and devote my life to him when there is no God. Sometimes I feel empty and scared inside, but I don't want to tell myself that everything is fine, and God will fill up my soul, when I am not sure of his existence. Besides, what if everything I start to believe in, is a lie?
I don't want to persuade people into what I believe in, or don't believe. It is just my perspective on life. I think that my faith is like a palette where different religions have left their imprints. But I wash away their marks and remain the blank palette I started with. If religious truth was black and white, I would know what to choose.